Coffee at Wakes: A Global Comfort in Times of Loss

Growing up in Trinidad, I often experienced the deep cultural connection between coffee and moments of grief. At wakes, where families and friends gather to honor and remember the departed, coffee was more than just a beverage; it was a bridge of connection, a source of comfort, and a fuel that carried everyone through the long, emotional nights.

In Trinidad, the tradition often unfolded in a predictable, yet heartwarming way. The evening began with younger family members carrying trays of steaming coffee, followed by another with crix and cheese, or sometimes bread with cheese paste. Men would gather around tables playing cards; games of rummy or wappie; while village women shared stories, caught up on news, and leaned on each other for support.

 Coffee was the fuel for these interactions, serving as a warm gesture of hospitality. As the night wore on, the younger servers would pass the responsibility to the older folks, who continued the ritual, ensuring no cup remained empty.

Friends and family contributed coffee, bread, and other essentials to the wake, making it a true communal effort. The act of sharing coffee wasn’t just about caffeine; it was about extending compassion and care during a deeply emotional time.

Global Traditions: Coffee’s Role in Mourning

This powerful connection between coffee and mourning isn’t unique to Trinidad. Around the world, cultures weave coffee into rituals of loss and remembrance:

• Ireland: During an Irish wake, friends and neighbors gather in the home of the deceased to console the family and pay respects. Coffee is often served alongside tea, whiskey, and light refreshments. The communal act of sharing a drink offers both solace and strength.

• Ethiopia: A traditional Ethiopian coffee ceremony can be an integral part of mourning. Friends and family prepare and share freshly brewed coffee in a deeply symbolic gesture of comfort, unity, and respect for the departed.

• Middle East: In many Arab countries, serving coffee—often black and unsweetened—is a sign of respect during mourning. It represents the gravity of the occasion, and guests partake solemnly to honor the deceased.

• Philippines: Similar to Trinidad, coffee is often served during a wake. It accompanies conversations, prayers, and overnight vigils, creating an environment of camaraderie and support.

The Power of Coffee in Times of Loss

Coffee holds a universal place in mourning rituals because it does more than wake us up; it comforts and sustains. The simple act of brewing and sharing a cup of coffee becomes a way to process grief, extend compassion, and remind each other of life’s small, grounding pleasures even amidst loss.

In Trinidad and beyond, coffee symbolizes connection. It brings people together during their most vulnerable moments, offering warmth and solace in a time of darkness. As we share stories, hold hands, and support each other, coffee becomes more than a drink; it becomes a way to keep moving forward, one sip at a time.

So, whether in a quiet village in Trinidad or a bustling city in the Philippines, the presence of coffee at wakes reminds us of our shared humanity. In the bitter depths of loss, coffee offers a small, comforting sweetness; one that ties us to traditions, to loved ones, and to hope.